Do You Believe You Need to Love Yourself Before You Can love Others?

There is a song by Whitney Houston that has caused many people to believe that they must love themselves first in order to be able to love another. That the greatest love of all is to love yourself.  It goes like this:

Because the greatest love of all
Is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all

As believers, we understand the greatest love of all to be Jesus Christ and what He sacrificed so that we may live eternally in Him.  We all love ourselves just fine, don’t you know? Scripture does NOT command, much less suggest to us to love ourselves! God knows we already do. In fact, unsaved people (and some saved folks too) love themselves too much and this is the way of living in the flesh.

We are not searching for who we are in this world, or what makes us tick, or how to make sense of the world and people around us…and on and on…..  We already know we are a member of the body of Christ, whose life and ministry is as an ambassador for Christ. (2 Cor 5:20).  We know too that sometimes while we serve Christ here in the body that we may also suffer for doing the work of an ambassador.

2Ti 2:9-11  Wherein I suffer trouble, as an evil doer, even unto bonds; but the word of God is not bound. Therefore I endure all things for the elect’s sakes, that they may also obtain the salvation which is in Christ Jesus with eternal glory.  It is a faithful saying: For if we be dead with him, we shall also live with him:

The idea we must love ourselves comes from the popular, worldly psychology, NOT from the word of God.  It has also become a popular mantra in different Churches today as well…that we must love ourselves first or we will not be capable to love others!  When we know from the word of God that we are to die daily!

1Co 15:31  I protest by your rejoicing which I have in Christ Jesus our Lord, I die daily.

We are to reckon ourselves dead! It is our choice, by our understanding God’s own words, to reckon that we are dead indeed to sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord.  It is also reckoning that our present sufferings are not worthy to be compared with the glory that shall be revealed in us!  One day the glory of Christ shall be revealed in us!

Rom_6:11  Likewise reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Rom_8:18  For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.

If our Apostle Paul had loved himself he would have kept his status which as a Jew was above reproach.

Php 3:4-6  Though I might also have confidence in the flesh. If any other man thinketh that he hath whereof he might trust in the flesh, I more: Circumcised the eighth day, of the stock of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, an Hebrew of the Hebrews; as touching the law, a Pharisee; Concerning zeal, persecuting the church; touching the righteousness which is in the law, blameless.

Yet he humbled himself for the truth of God given him!

The Apostle Paul also understood what Jesus the Son of God the second person of the Trinity did and understood how the love of God turned outward to others…those He had created.

Php 2:5-7  Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.

So what are we told to do?  Love ourselves first?  NOT by a long shot.  We are to love one another without partiality. This means we do NOT love ourselves first…as that is rather partial…is it not? This is what is meant by preferring one another! (Romans 12:10)

1Co_12:25  That there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another.

Gal_6:2  Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.

Eph_4:2  With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love;

1Th_4:9  But as touching brotherly love ye need not that I write unto you: for ye yourselves are taught of God to love one another.

1Th_5:11  Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.

1Ti_5:21  I charge thee before God, and the Lord Jesus Christ, and the elect angels, that thou observe these things without preferring one before another, doing nothing by partiality.

We live once we have believed because of Christ. We are crucified with Christ! Christ lives in us and we live this new life by faith because the Son of God, who loved us, gave Himself for us.

Gal_2:20  I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.

It is no longer about us but life in Christ. Life in Christ is about being an ambassador to a fallen world that is being taught and believes they must love themselves first.

In conclusion, yes we must work to provide food, clothing and a roof over our heads and that of our families.  We work to provide for ourselves in this way so we may do the work of the ministry and not be burdensome to others! Which has already been pointed out, that to become a burden to others would be the opposite of what God has called us to do, which is by love to serve one another.

It would be a true shame to waste this life in a self-absorbed love for ourselves. 

Hopefully we can do the good works set out before us to help save others by giving the gospel of gospel of the grace of God, through our ministry of reconciliation to those who are lost. And to make all men see the fellowship of the mystery.  After all, OUR command is to love one another.

Act_20:24  But none of these things move me, neither count I my life dear unto myself, so that I might finish my course with joy, and the ministry, which I have received of the Lord Jesus, to testify the gospel of the grace of God.

2Co_5:18  And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation;

Eph_3:9  And to make all men see what is the fellowship of the mystery, which from the beginning of the world hath been hid in God, who created all things by Jesus Christ:

1Th_4:9  But as touching brotherly love ye need not that I write unto you: for ye yourselves are taught of God to love one another.

Gal_5:13  For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another.